Saturday, May 19

We are Who We are

Why do I write something like this tonight? No idea actually. I'm waiting for Champions League Final and as always nothing to do, so I'm blogging. Usually I spend my #foreveralone night by sketching, but I'm not in my best mood to scratch pencil on the book. So, I simply scratch anything else which are keyboard and my hair (to find what to write).

I'm currently thinking about how people who used to be around me change drastically, while I think I don't even change. Well, I change constantly, not drastically. It's better than once some old friends meet me and they do not recognize me because I'm not like me. Things happen commonly is I couldn't recognize my old friends, not only physical appearance but also habit and blah blah.

It doesn't mean I don't like any changes, no. But you know, sometime when something changes toooooooooooooo much, it's not a good thing. Even, I often finf that someone lost herself for changing and being like water because just go with the flow like water and has no will to swim against the flow.

I discuss this thing with my mom and she said that she doesn't like this thing either. She never really changes. She loves to be herself, not water. And I do, too. So, in conclusion that it is my mom's habit and she used to hand it down to her daughters.

I love being myself and love to see people think that I never change or at least they can feel that I'm still someone they know in the past when they knew me.

You know what, it is priceless when I see people change to make their surrounding accept them. One of the option and most do is losing yourself.
You know what, being different is special. It's not a shame when you are different and people do not admit your existence.
You know what, everyone is destined to be different one to another. Don't change yourself for not-so-worth-it thing which is lasted temporarily.

Things cross my mind now are people wear the same clothes, hold the same things, talk the same topics, have the same point of view, wish the same future, and controlled by the same director.

I know that when you are in a land where you know nobody, you wish those strangers accept you as what you are. But life is struggling. It is you change to be like one of them, identically; you adapt things they like and do it with your way to make them like you; or you attract their attentions with your uniqueness. It is about who softens, you or your surrounding.

I should not tell you how much I love myself for the whole of my life for being myself today, for being me like I really wish, for not pretending to be someone else, for who I am.

Maybe you'll think I never change when we meet. Or, you will think that I'm outdated and never grow up. Perhaps, you'll wish never know me anymore.
For me, if the meaning of 'grow up' is to be like you, to be the sameeeeeeeeee with others, thaank you. I prefer to be like what I am now. People will never know how grown up I am, how my parents always emphasise her daughters to be as independent as possible once they step out of the house. I'm spoiled like a kid when I'm home, but you won't see it out of my home.

It doesn't mean that I never soften for people in my surroundings. But, I often force them implicitly to do things my way.
It doesn't mean that I never change for people to accept me, I do. In certain occasion I do have to much soften, but still be me. I name it adaptation, not adoption. You know the difference? Adaptation means take some necessary for you, make it your way, and show them that you can be like them with your own way, meaning that you are special. And adoption means take all from and show what you've taken to make you the duplicate of them, wishing they can accept you to be one of them.

I don't know what I'm talking. I just think it's irony when I see people I used to know become those I don't know at all, I never ever understand anymore, be someone else who should introduce themselves with the same name I have ever heard but different person in front of me. It's tiring.

You were special, but now you are not.
You are who you were, are, and always going to be you.
You are not her,
You are not him,
You are not them,
Never try to be someone else.


Two hours to go for Champions League Final. And from my deepest heart I SUPPORT CHELSEA, you know that.
At last I say, A Velly Intewesting Blog.

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